5 Ways to Know You Are No Longer on a Cruise

• People in uniform don't greet you by name.
• The taxi driver asks for money instead of your Sail and Sign card.
• There are no animals made out of towels or chocolate waiting for you on your bed.
• The doors to your rooms don't magnetize themselves to the wall after you open them.
• There's no itinerary under your door in the morning to tell you what's going on today.