Online Dating Gems

Over the past few years I have had many friends who have tried Internet dating. I'd been toying with the idea for a while but with my two bestest here typing in my details I decided it was finally time to join the cool kids. But don't be fooled dear reader. . . Internet dating isn't always sunshine and happiness. Take for example one phone call I had with a capitol policeman.

• Act One
  Description of how when he is on duty and bored, he and his partner make fun of tourists for how ugly they are, how badly dressed they are and the likelihood that they will get pick pocketed.
  
• Act Two
  The singing of the his theme song which also happens to be the theme song to Cops. Bad boys, bad boys . . .
  
• Act Three
  A detailed recall of his food for the day. Breakfast - donuts (no comment needed here), Lunch - a peanut butter and cheese sandwich (he tried to sell it as a southern delicacy, key word "tried").

Needless to say he did not make it past phone call number one. So what happens when you have had one good date with someone and during date number two you realize that the spark's just not there? Well if you are me you wait for that person to contact you. When they call once and never again you assume they weren't feeling it either. But for some reason there are guys out there that believe following up after three weeks of no contact.

Hi.
How are things going? I hope you're well. I'm sort of getting the idea that since you've avoided returning my call that you're moving on and don't plan to see me again. If I'm wrong, please let me know! I did enjoy the time we spent together. I can't say that you're necessarily my dream girl I need to marry;) but I at least felt comfortable with you and didn't feel I had to put on some dog and pony show to impress you on a date. Hmmmm.. Perhaps that's what you prefer? The conversations were easy, so I didn't read into it too much. Oh well. Maybe I should. Hope you're well. Take care!

Luckily not all the men who participate in online dating are like this.